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In a strong field, the most annoying thing I do is handheld quotation marks when I wish to voice emphases.
“I just don’t like “Fat People”,” I will say, as though adding grammar to the situation subtracts discrimination and makes me amusing.
Every time I do it, I die a little inside. I liken it to when people put LOL at the end of a message. Or say Shhh to initiate silence. We are all in the same group and should be shipped off to the island of Retarded Mannerisms That Need Not Be.

So much that is said is up for interpretation. Taking out the fact that the English language is littered with double-meaning words (aside: fat and phat, anyone?) and still the most literal statement can cause utter confusion for even the smartest of people. The most educated of person will still question the authenticity of “I Love You” when it is voiced.
I have often dreamt of a utopia where people would say exactly what they mean and mean exactly what they say.
“Would you like to come to eat pork and go Ten-Pin Bowling?” someone may ask me.
“Um. I would love to,” I reply. “But I have to…mop…the…fridge.” Yeah. That sounds about right.
Alternatively, I would love to articulate, “No. I would not.”
“Why?” He [/She] could respond.
“I just don’t want to.”
There would be no further discussion. Because, what do you say to that? Instead, I seem to prefer to spend fifteen minutes explaining why I need to [Mop My Fridge] at nine o’clock in the morning on a Tuesday and end up elaborating a story that involves hypothetical crisper-dwelling cats and a weak bladder. Not only is it annoying because I don’t have a cat, but it is a waste of time when I could have just been concise and gone back to what I was really doing. (Read: Probably watching cartoons).

I remember when animations started to be drawn in Three-D. I was uncomfortable with something fake sharing one of the real qualities that initially separated us. Actual people, despite being three dimensional in appearance, often adopt a lesser dimension socially in order to save articulation, embarrassment or their heart. In social contexts, even the most educated of person will often show only one side of them, whether for self-preservation or time management, and allow for a lifetime of judgement based off a single two-dimensional response to a three-dimensional question.

The depth of a relationship usually stems from the most shallow of circumstances. The concept that I have fallen in love based on initially seeing Pecs astounds me.
“What attracted you to me?” I have been asked.
I want to say [“]Eyes[”], [“]Flowing Locks[”] or [“]Penis[”], thereby bringing some semblance of honesty to the three-dimensional conversation. But instead I say what I think I should say.
“Your personality.” Like I could see His personality from across the room and beyond His abs. Just like He could sense my wit on my chest (aside: please pretend I have cleavage).
I don’t say what I mean, or what I feel, or what is truth, out of fear that the reaction will be just as superficial as the instigation. And, on a deeper level, to protect my heart.
One [“ex”]boyfriend approached me by saying, “You have the most beautiful eyes.”
Rather than taking him literally, I replied, “If you like them, you should see what is happening behind them.”
Ironically, he didn’t actually really like what was going on and we broke up because of it. I have often wondered what our fate would have been if he approached me to compliment my air of stubbornness, or any other quality that eventually becomes a lot more prevalent in a relationship than my eyelashes. Would the articulation of something real enforce a more positive result? I hate to think that it would take a utopia to answer my “question”.

My latest crush, the Prettiest Boy In The World [official name], recently moved inter-state [because that is what people do when I like them]. Now, rather than highlighting my emphasis with kisses, I must articulate myself through the written word via that pre-twitter, old-school romance of The E-Mail. It leaves a lot to be desired if someone wants to touch a three-dimensional person, but, enjoyably calls for clear and concise conversation. Twenty-four hours since I had touched him, I read about his day. Which he finished literally explaining by adding kisses in quotation marks.