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I would be pretty excited if I could acquire the ability to teleport. A lot of people, when asked, want the magical capability to read minds. Personally, I don’t enjoy the sound of tumbleweeds blowing around aimlessly, so I definitely stick to teleporting. Aside from really avoiding long airplane flights, I would always use my skill for good. Who else wouldn’t zoom in and out of Zac Efron’s bed without him even noticing? It certainly would not happen if all you could do was, pfft, read minds. Even more so, since Twitter was invented, everyone kind of already has the ability to do that.

Putting thoughts out into the magical universe of the Interweb is our generations psychic reading. However, we have the benefit of the Interweb being somewhat real and so, therefore, can argue with someone when they call us “stupid” or “ridiculous” for indulging in the tools it has for offer. It isn’t as fun arguing with someone who genuinely believes in old-school psychic fortune telling. Unless, of course, you really enjoy winning all of the time. The Internet has become an avenue for seeing the future, communicating with the past and recognizing when the present actually is. Most of my relationships exist because of the Interweb. For example, the fact that The Prettiest Boy In The World [official name] emails me every time I am thinking about Him makes me wonder if, by choice, he has the ability to read minds.

Once upon a time, Interweb Dating was reserved for divorcees and people who looked like Amy Winehouse but had no talent. I scoffed when I heard that people had met “on-line” and instantly downloaded images into my mind of individuals never leaving the house and masturbating in front of a computer screen. Then I realized that I was dating boys who behaved exactly like that anyway, and I had met Them at a bar, so I needed to reevaluate my opinion on Interweb Dating.
My girl friend recently decided that, enough is enough, it is time to download some more possibilities for sex [and dating] in her life.
“Am I pathetic?” she asked me after she had put herself out there “on-line”.
“No,” I reassured her. I had done some thinking about the realities of Interweb Dating. “How is meeting someone “on-line” any more bizarre than meeting a boyfriend at a bar? Both avenues require a certain amount of lying and a facade that is usually crushed when the lights come on.”
I met my first, and oft-forgotten, boyfriend after throwing a tantrum outside of a bar. I didn’t want to go in, see, and so I put my foot down. Literally. My girl friend picked me up and carried me inside so that she could pick up a boy she was chasing.
“You’re pathetic,” I told her at the time. “Why would you want a guy who comes to This bar?”
Once upon a time, I had an air of snobbery about where I drank. Like a fine wine, I have aged to not give a shit.

Emails are the new pick-up lines. “Do you come here often?” doesn’t fly in either avenue, but via observation, I have discovered how witty and interesting people can be when picking up a person through the written word rather than through the drunken slur. Rarely do I wonder why Jim-Bob over there is struggling to land a girl as his beer is slowing dripping down his plaid shirt. But, frequently, I have caught myself wondering how these intelligent, articulate and funny boys are not inundated with dates. Because, on paper at least, they appear to be perfect. If nothing else, the sheer fact of having disposable time to think of a response really does give power to the positive effect of thinking to begin with.
I started to fall for The Prettiest Boy In The World [official name] when I began to get to know Who he really was through emails. Via the magical barrier of a virtual world, I was able to start understanding the real qualities about him. There was no facade in person, as the superficiality was already in place due to the Interweb, and intelligent, articulated and witty conversations evolved. It allowed for us each to be an actual person. Something I have not met in a bar in quite some time.

If one is searching for a person to connect with, either physically, emotionally, mentally or all of the above, I support any avenue chosen. Whether it is teleporting into Zac Efron’s bed, lining up shots at a bar, emailing someone or signing up for Interweb Dating, everything is done so that, as human beings, we can interact. It is, literally, what makes life interesting. Interweb Dating, merely, takes away the initial magic of sexual chemistry. But getting to know a personality gives way to the possibility of meeting someone who is The Prettiest Boy In The World on the inside, not just the outside.